Prison is a place where it is naturally a bad place, full of criminals of all types. Yet, it is a place where you have time—and I mean so much time—to think, to create, to rebuild yourself, and to better yourself. It is up to you what you do with your time in prison. So, make a choice: lose yourself in the darkness of prison or use the time you have to better yourself.

Solitary confinement is a place where, at first, I had no clue what to do. So, I hid myself in my sleep, with so much on my mind in the beginning. Yet, later, I saw one of my friends who helped me cope with the darkness of solitary. One day, I noticed he had a nice haircut, and curiosity got the best of me. I began to question him on how he got his hair cut because you rarely see the barber in solitary confinement. So how was this possible?

He answered my question by simply saying he cut his own hair. This made me look at my own hair, and I wanted a haircut like his—but even better. 🙂 So, I began to question him on how he cut his own hair. Well, his way of cutting hair was more difficult because he used one mirror and nail clippers. Yes, it sounds crazy, but he was serious. And no, you cannot use nail clippers to actually cut your hair. He used the nail clippers as a mirror to cut the hair on the back of his head.

He began explaining more about how to put the razor on the teeth of the comb, shave the line, and cut up and out. But honestly, I didn’t understand much—until I began to try it on my own. The result was bad. I remember coming out of my cell, and the same guy commented, telling me I looked like a jaguar because of all the missing patches of hair on my head. I even laughed, but it did not discourage me.

In fact, I kept cutting my hair. Yes, bad haircuts. At first, my haircuts looked like I had simply shaved a line at the bottom of my head, to which people said I looked like I had a chili bowl on my head. In fact, I remember a guy singing Chili Bowl Swag—a remix of a rap song—to mock my bad haircut. I even got another comment calling me “Two-Tone.” Even a ranking security officer saw my haircut and told me, “That is not a fade.” Yup, it was bad.

But despite all the jokes and laughs, I just kept cutting my hair. One day, I told a security officer that I cut my own hair. He actually said it was okay—but needed more blending. The line in the haircut was still visible, and that was not acceptable. So, I went through a season of bad haircuts, comments, and things that should have discouraged me. But I kept cutting my hair—failing but learning on my own with a simple comb and razor.

It wasn’t until one day, when I came out for recreation, that someone said, “I like your haircut.” At that moment, I knew I had achieved a small feat—but still had much to learn. Believe me when I say this: it is a lot harder to cut your own hair than to cut someone else’s hair, especially when you do not have the right materials. One comb and one razor—it is hard and takes time. But with each cut, I learned. With time, I began to change my haircuts and experiment.

Yes, I messed up. Bad haircuts. Jokes and laughs were made. But I didn’t care. Inside, I knew I could cut hair better than the guy I got the idea from. But I had to learn on my own. All my bad haircuts eventually turned into good haircuts—and good comments. I even learned to cut designs into my hair with a razor.

In life, and in prison, I failed and made mistakes. But this only led me to achieve a goal I had in mind ever since I first saw a prison haircut.